WTF has R-Pattz done to his hair?!

Oh Rob, we do love to swoon over thee, but what the EFF have you done to your hair?

I mean from the front ok, it’s all dishevelled and doesn’t look much different.

r-patz-hair-1[1]

BUT WAIT…

We step into serious Joey Essex territory and now I’m just nervous.

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THEN THIS HAPPENS.

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DUDE. Really?

I am mortified.

– love Carla x

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The Dating Game: Calling time…

Calling timeSo…

After being single for six months, learning quite a lot and experiencing the darker side of human nature, I’ve made like Cheryl Cole and secretly found myself a bit of ol’ romance.

No, I haven’t got married but I have got a boyfriend. My 25-year-old ass is firmly off the shelf and I’m pleased to report I’m quite smug about the whole thing.

Without going into too much detail – because let’s be honest, no one ever actually wants to hear about vomit-inducing happiness – I’ve basically ended up with my high school crush.

Regression at its finest (11 year-old me is unbelievably chuffed, 25 year-old me is quietly high-fiving herself), but so far so good.

In all honesty, I didn’t think I’d really bother with the whole relationship shebang again, in fact I was gearing up to buy a few more dogs and pack up, off to Scotland armed with a one-way ticket.

But, out of nowhere a flash from the past and some excellent banter led to something that was worth not heading to the highlands.

So you see, there is hope. I’m not saying you need to have someone – far from it in fact – but if some love and romance is what you’re after, it will come.

And on that note, I’m going to sign off before love hearts start to make an appearance and I make myself throw up thanks to all of the sickly happiness.

– love Stef x

Will they, won’t they? The best TV couples #1

By now it comes as no surprise to you that I prefer fantasy over reality, and although will they, won’t they couples in real life are exhausting, they make the best storylines in TV series.

Here are my favourites:

Joey & Pacey (Dawson’s Creek)

Series 3 and 4 of Dawson’s Creek are the best purely because of the Joey and Pacey plot – he bought her a wall, watched her while she slept (in a non-creepy way) and bought her chocolate after they actually slept together.

The writers of the show did write and film two endings when Dawson’s Creek reached its final season – and though it was always believed that Joey would end up with Dawson, we all got the finale we wanted.

Blair & Chuck (Gossip Girl)

Never have there been two characters more perfect for each other – the Blair and Chuck love story was full of twists, turns and scheming a-plenty – but despite princes, enough peonies to last a lifetime and a heartbreaking trade, it finally happened.

Three words, eight letters. One word, three letters.

Dan & Serena (Gossip Girl)

It had to be Dan and Serena – six series filled with so many on/off moments, but in the end all was revealed with Dan inventing Gossip Girl to make himself known to the girl of his dreams.

You’ve got the love Lonely Boy, xoxo.

Ross & Rachel (Friends)

The original will they, won’t they couple. There was closure, prom videos, being on a break and babies – Ross and Rachel were each other’s lobsters.

She got off the plane. Yay!

Tim & Dawn (The Office)

Just phenomenal. I was a little late to The Office party, but the Tim and Dawn story completely broke my heart. I’m glad I watched it all in one go as I don’t think I could’ve coped waiting each week.

This scene is sheer brilliance, enhanced by one of the greatest songs ever – Only YouHere’s to holding out for my own Tim.

– love Stef x

The female perspective: Can men and women ever be just friends?

Spratt Says recently threw down the male gauntlet on the million dollar question – can men and women ever be just friends?

Although I cannot and would not attempt to say that my opinion speaks for the whole of womankind, I can give my sole, female perspective.

So, can men and women ever be just friends?

Unfortunately it would seem not. But it’s not as clear-cut as that – I think there are at least five types of male/female friendships:

1. The ‘unrequited love’ – two friends of the opposite sex who spend most of the time together and get on like a house on fire. They’ve probably known each other for a long time, but one of them harbours feelings for the other that are unknown (and always will be) and unreciprocated (more than likely) – think Dawson’s Creek/Pretty in Pink. Nothing can crack this friendship, until one of them gets a significant other that isn’t the friend.

2. The ‘never in the sober light of day’ – not really best friends, but friends nonetheless. This is usually a straight-forward, logical friendship where blunt advice is given, arguments can be had, but they’ve always got each others’ backs. There’s no physical attraction whatsoever even though they get on and know each other pretty well – until they both get absolutely smashed one night and the thought makes a fleeting appearance.

Can men and women be friends

3. The ‘flanter friendship’ – this friendship is based on ‘flanter’ – flirty banter. There’s an attraction and a LOT of flirting with severe immoral undertones, but it’s harmless. They wouldn’t, in theory, turn down the opportunity to have one night of no-strings sex, but in reality, the idea of it rather than the actual doing it is preferred. The flanter friendship, if maintained, can become a solid friendship – but the flirting will always be present.

4. The ‘should be something more’ – the worst of the male/female friendships. These two get on brilliantly, spend time together and joke about taking their friendship to the next level. Others will tell them they are perfect for each other, but the friendship is comfortable as it is. Until it’s not and something happens. Think Some Kind of Wonderful with a 50-50 on the ending – something happens and it’s great, or something happens and it was the biggest mistake ever made.

5. The ‘soulmates’ – the slow-burner of opposite sex friendships. They start out as either each other’s crush or initially dislike each other. They become friends and said friendship blossoms into a BFF situation before they realise they are, in fact, a perfect match – your When Harry Met Sally if you will. Marriage, babies and happily ever after all round.

Although this doesn’t exactly give a definitive answer to the question, to me, men and women can be friends, but never ‘just friends’ – there will always be feelings or thoughts or flirting.

What I do know, is that once you and your friend cross that line, you can never go back. So before you do, make sure it’s worth the risk, because nothing is worse than losing and missing your friend.

– love Stef x

Valentine’s Day Guide for Men: Worst. Gifts. Ever.

We all know V-day is fast approaching, so why is it men like to forget about this holiday – and worse still, give you crappy gifts that you’re expected to appreciate?

I mean okay, there is some history to Valentine’s Day and whichever story you choose to believe, I can sort of understand  why men dismiss V-day and claim it was all invented by Hallmark.

But for some special reason – one can only put down to sheer laziness – men are completely and utterly rubbish when it comes to being creative with gifts. It’s not like we’re asking for the Moon or anything…

I do stand firm that I don’t need just one day to tell my boyfriend I love him, but there’s nothing wrong with going with the masses and secretly wanting the largest bouquet known to man.

Here are what I think are the worst gifts that you, my dear man, could give:

  1. Underwear. Unless I have specifically given you my sizes and preferred style, DO NOT BOTHER. Mankind needs to understand a few things, unlike their S, M, L sizing, women’s bodies are all very different. If I’m a 12 in New Look, I am not a 12 in Next, capiche? The only thing worse than receiving a size 8 that doesn’t fit, is receiving a size 14 that does. Sob.
  2. Supermarket Flowers. I’m not dissing Asda here, they do some lovely bouquets, but really, remembering to buy me flowers with the weekly shop is not cool. They’re perfectly fine for when you have done something wrong, or on a Saturday just ‘cos I’m pretty, but V-day? You have the internet. Use it.
  3. Household Items. These are already offensive as a gift unless it’s a wedding/new home present. I may have mentioned I want a blender, so buy it at any other time. If you give it to me on a birthday/Christmas, or indeed Valentine’s, your head will end up in it. Am I being clear?
  4. Chocolate. I told you I was on a diet at New Year’s?! Why don’t you listen to me? Oh… you found the biscuits…
  5. Budget Card Shop Rubbish. This means giant teddy bears that have no place in the home, ‘Horny Cheques’ and inappropriate mugs/aprons/posters. It’s 99p for a reason.

Worst. Gifts. Ever

You will notice jewellery is not on the list, because we love jewellery. It’s not tacky, or unimaginative. Tiffany & Co. have an app for a reason.

I have had some interesting gifts in my time, my first boyfriend, at the age of 15, bought me a CD (before piracy was so accessible), a red rose and a Me to You bear. Sweet right? Until he told me he forgot and his Mom had given them to him. Not so sweet.

I also had an ex who thought it appropriate to ‘owe’ me a present since I hadn’t reminded him it was Valentine’s Day. Dick.

But more recently, my first Valentine’s Day with my current boyfriend was well, an anti-climax. He professed to be oh-so-cute and liked to hand-make  cards. So, since I was usually uninterested and not particularly nice to most boyfriends in the past, I thought I would make an effort and return the favour.

Since he is Scottish, I made heart-shaped shortbread, and even hunted everywhere for a heart-shaped tin to put them in – this is a lot harder than you would think – and spent the best part of 20 minutes trying to tie a red ribbon around the odd-shaped tin.

Then, for the card, I had Google-mapped the area he was from, where I was from, and where we met in Ibiza. Cut-out said maps into heart shapes and glued them to the most expensive piece of card ever. I then went to town with the glitter glue, and I’m not going to lie, I was pretty damn impressed with my creative skills.

So the day came, I drove 300 miles to see him and gave him his gifts. What did I get? A hug. Not even joking. He took the day off work, as it was a Friday, and claimed he would take me out later. Well in my mind that was a given, yes you will bloody take me out later, now where’s my card? He forgot.

Three year’s later I remind him of that day, and I intend to never let him forget. I would’ve flipped out but well… he’s so cute…

What rubbish gifts have you recieved? Do you have a funny V-day story to tell? Get in touch!

– love Carla x

Valentine's Day

DISCLAIMER

Gifts are to be given with a card AS WELL AS being treated to a day out/meal in a restaurant, not INSTEAD OF. The restaurant is not a gift, it’s expected. And no, a takeaway will not ‘do’.

Do You Think I’m Sexy? Well, no…

It is often said that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ and while my taste in men does lead many to believe that my eye clearly has a cataract, I’m starting to think it’s actually everyone else who has the dodgy taste.

Why? I hear you ask. Two words:

Benedict. Cumberbatch.

Benedict Cumberbatch

I just don’t get it – and I’m all about harbouring eclectic-looking crushes. But this, even for me, is a step too far.

His slightly strange face keeps cropping up in Sexiest Male lists, most of the time even taking the crown, and I’m just utterly confused by it.

Maybe it’s because I’m one of the only people in the world who hasn’t watched Sherlock (or anything that he’s actually been in)…I’m not sure, I assume he must be extremely cool, smooth and charming?

I’ve put up with a lot of grief about my somewhat acquired definition of what an ‘attractive’ man is, with one friend recently saying: ‘Don’t take it personally but your taste in men is hilarious.’

And yes, I put my hands up and admit, at times, it can be dodgy.

Tall, short, fat, thin, old, young, married (joke), dark haired, fair haired or bald – if there’s something about a man that I like, then they’re attractive regardless of a general consensus.

But, in this instance, it’s my turn to mock.

The world has gone a little off-piste with its 2013 Sexiest Male winner.

Although in fairness, I would rather see Cumberbatch hold the number one spot than the likes of David Beckham or Robert Pattinson. Yes, I went there…

– love Stef x