Spratt Says: Wife Material

Spratt SaysAs I reach my mid-twenties it was inevitable that some of my closest friends would eventually grow up long before me; buy a house, have a baby, get married etc. and while I’m over the moon for these friends – despite cutting the best years of their lives short – on a personal level I could never take such a big leap so soon.

I have no intention, at least for the time being, to ever get married but due to the actions of some of the aforementioned friends it got me thinking about what sort of woman it would take to change my mind.

What would I consider the perfect wife material?

As easy as it would be to make a typically sexist “whoever makes a good sandwich” joke right now, I’d like to think I’m better than that, so I’ve put some thought in to it.

Back in 2010 scientists claimed to have found a mathematical formula for the perfect wife, which in a nutshell concluded that a bride should be five years younger than the groom, share the same cultural background and be the more the intelligent of the pair if a marriage is to succeed.

Now with the exception of intelligence, I’ve seen all of the above most mornings on Jeremy Kyle and it’s hard to believe they’re destined to live happily ever after despite the best efforts of Jezza and Graham, so I came to my own conclusion and that is that this survey is utter trollop.

The perfect wife I’d assume should be no different to what a woman would regard as the perfect husband. Marriage is essentially teamwork and therefore both man and wife should have a similar level of intelligence, same interests, equally domesticated and so on.

I don’t think it’s that complicated but it’s not something that is likely to ever interest me, although I understand why some do but who knows, maybe one day I’ll make a woman very happy… and probably miserable the rest of the time.

 

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